I’m going to tell you something about myself. Something I’ve actively been trying to change for years. Something I hope my kids DON’T learn from me.
I’m a people pleaser.
Ever since I was as a little girl, I’ve always worried about what other people think. I worried about my clothes. I worried when I didn’t have expensive stuff in school. I worried when my body developed faster than my friends. I worried that I wasn’t little and blonde like my sister. I worried and worried and worried.
And to tell you the truth, the worrying never stopped. I grew up constantly concerned with what others were thinking about me. It was debilitating at times, the incessant need to fit in. To be like everyone else. To avoid taking any risks or chances.
But over the last few years, I’ve worked so hard to change this about myself. It’s been slow.
But I really, really want you to know:
The only person worth pleasing is yourself.
I know we’re all trained through school and society to be and act a certain way. We’re supposed to want certain things and do things in a certain order. But here are some words of freedom: You don’t have to do or want any of it.
Ask yourself a few questions. Who do YOU want to be? What do you want to do? What is your passion? What are your likes and dislikes? What makes you feel real joy?
Your life is not about anyone else. It’s about you. Does that mean to be a selfish person who only thinks about yourself? No. We have family and friends who we love dearly, and we want to be good in those roles that we play. But when it comes to the way you live your life and your beliefs and your guiding system, your soul knows best. You need to stop giving a damn what others think.
I’m a work in progress in this area. It’s a hard battle for recovering people pleasers. But it’s worth the journey.
“When you stop trying to change others, and change yourself, your world changes for the better.”